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Strange English Laws

"The law is an ass, an idiot." Charles Dickens

The Law Commission is about 40 years old and is responsible for sifting through the aged and irrelevant laws of England to bring them up-to-date.

There is a team of law reformers at the Law Commission whose job is to wade through the statute books for strange English laws and add them to a Repeal Bill. These are passed by Parliament ever few years.

A law introduced in 1307 ensures that the head of any dead whale found on the British coast becomes the property of the king and the tail belongs to the queen - should she need the bones for her corset.

Here are a few strange English laws.

All English Men over 14 are meant to carry out 2 hours of longbow practice each weekand supervised by the local clergy. This law dates from the middle ages when there was no regular British army and local gentry were ordered to train a quota of knights, archers, infantry, etc.

As the church was the official local instrument of beauracracy,they were deployed. The areas firing range was generally called a 'bottom' and many still exist such as Trotters Bottom in Hertfordshire.

London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats. This was because they were originally horse drawn, this was repealed in 1976.

It is still illegal for cab drivers to carry rabid dogs or indeed corpses and by law they must ask each and every passenger if they have small pox or 'The Plague'.

It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises.

It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person. But okay for women because it was introduced to outlaw "molly houses" in the late 16th Century. These were premises where homosexuals conducted various activities and was considered a moral threat.

Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated.

By 1800 in England some two hundred crimes that were punishable by death. They included forgery, horse-stealing, sheep-stealing, picking pockets, stealing five shillings (25p) from a shop, damaging Westminster Bridge, and impersonating a Chelsea Pensioner not to mention treason, murder, and attempted murder.

A bed may not be hung out of a window.
It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.
Throughout the whole of England it is illegal to eat mince pies on the 25th of December.
Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.
It is still an offence to beat or shake any carpet rug or mat in any street in the Metropolitan Police District, although you are allowed to shake a doormat before 8am.
It is illegal to leave baggage unattended, and picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.
Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license.
Londoners are not allowed to keep a pigsty in the front of their homes.
It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.
It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime. (Repealed)

IN 1647, the English parliament passed a law that made Christmas illegal. Christmas festivities were banned by Puritan leader Oliver Cromwell, who considered feasting and revelry on what was supposed to be a holy day immoral. Anybody caught celebrating Christmas was arrested. The ban was lifted only when the Puritans lost power in 1660.

John Hetherington, a London haberdasher in 1797 proudly showed off his latest creation and attraxcted a great crowd unfortunately a small boy received a broken arm whilst several women fainted among the sound of boos and hisses. Hetherington was arrested and charged with breaching the King's peace and "appearing on the public highway wearing upon his head a tall structure having a shining lustre and calculated to frighten timid people". He was fined £50 and found guilty.